Parenting Life // The problem with going 'solo'

Whatever your parenting dynamic is; there is no arguing that it’s a tough game. We live in a different world these days and that traditional nuclear family is no longer the norm.

Recently I’ve found myself feeling uneasy when people say that are ‘solo’ parenting.
Usually, this phrase is mentioned when a partner is away for a period of time (be it a day, week, month), we highlight how hard it is going to be as we parent alone.


And that’s the word that strikes me.
Those of us with a significant other are never truly doing this alone (of course there are exceptions to every rule, but for today let's stick with the majority).

Searching through the internet I come across a handful of opinion pieces where the term ‘solo’ is associated with being a single parent. Collins dictionary (yes, i’m going there!) also defines it as the ‘usual term for a single parent’.

Putting myself front and centre our family dynamic is similar to that of others. I work early shifts whilst my partner works a late shift. This allows us to drop off and pick up without the need for childcare costs (after the first 2 years of nursery we were financially screwed). We are only together as a unit of 3 once a week. There are absolutely times when I feel like i am doing this alone. Those days where the KID.WON'T.STOP. When bedtime can't come soon enough and I have no fight left in me.

But (and here’s the but) someone will come through those doors so I can vent, occasionally cry and more often than not, run out so I can go and have a coffee on my own.  

We appear to live in a world where we feel the need to declare that we have a harder time than someone else. Why can’t we just crack on with doing our best and supporting others when they may need a leg up.

Chatting about this over on my Instagram the other day led to some great, healthy and educational conversations. No judging. Just sharing of opinions. Here are some of the comments below to add more to this than just my own thoughts. 

‘.....but co-parenting is different from solo parenting. Mum was widowed when I was 5 and when my sister divorced she fundamentally single parented, but acknowledged that every other weekend she had her own time as the boys stayed with their father.’

‘Your not solo parenting because you do bedtime with your kids for 3 nights. I remember running out of loo roll and kitchen roll when I was first a single money to buy anything, no one around and I felt’s a world away from getting the bed to yourself for a few days. 

‘I think people don’t mean to make light of the situation, Also people don’t mean to offend.... I think that it is mainly used for ease.’

‘All families are unique and really don’t need labels’

And that’s it really isn’t it. It’s easy to say you are flying solo. I guarantee no one ever means to offend, so perhaps next time just phrase it a little better. Or better still we just stop using phrases (wouldn't that be a radical idea?).

I’ll finish as I started. Everyone’s dynamic is different, it’s a tough game. One thing I’m certain of is that my tough days will never compare to those truly who truly do this alone.


  1. Our credit repair services work to fix past credit mistakes and verify credit report accuracy. Talk to a credit repair expert today!  non-wifi baby monitor

  2. thank you for the pointers and advice..i in desire of reality appreciate it.. Guest Post

  3. Yes i am totally agreed with this article and i just want say that this article is very nice and very informative article.I will make sure to be reading your blog more. You made a good point but I can't help but wonder, what about the other side? !!!!!!Thanks motherhood

  4. This is my first visit to your web journal! We are a group of volunteers and new activities in the same specialty. Website gave us helpful data to work. motherhood

  5. I am very happy to discover your post as it will become on top in my collection of favorite blogs to visit. credit services

  6. Previously parents used to employ old and ineffective parenting style resulting in frustration and tension for them when they could not control children baby bibs

  7. Parental rights are legal prerogatives based on the moral and civil rights of children to be nurtured and protected. They are based on the assumption that parents can best decide how to raise a child without undue interference by the state.

  8. This is a smart blog. I mean it. You have so much knowledge about this issue, and so much passion. You also know how to make people rally behind it, obviously from the responses. buy 50 instagram likes with paypal

  9. I went to graduate school to consider Constitutional and Environmental law. I wound up rehearsing family, managerial and criminal law. Online art school

  10. They may state that it worked for them so it should work for you. They may suggest things that simply appear to be interesting, typically home cure type things, which have been reliable and truly accomplish work. Parenting Tips

  11. Thank you for sharing excellent information. Your website is very cool. I am impressed by the info that you?ve on this website. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. grief support

  12. Always so interesting to visit your site.What a great info, thank you for sharing. this will help me so much in my learning Pregnancy

  13. This is a wonderful article, Given so much info in it, These type of articles keeps the users interest in the website, and keep on sharing more ... good luck. custom lapel pins

  14. The tools which build the foundation are Mathematical tools and computational tools. The in-depth understanding of these tools and proficiency in handling these tools helps one in suggesting data-driven solutions in the business. data science course syllabus